I'll be the ashtray to love's unfiltered cigarettes [entries|friends|calendar] candycocoon [ website | myspace ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

take a look at me now! [03 Apr 2006|09:00pm] [ mood | irritated ] AND THE VENTING PROCESS BEGINS HERE.... you say im like my mom.. but you dont know me! so fuck you ! im mean to you cuz i dont know what else to do.. wat happened?? you were my king and i was your queen.. now you like the fact that im here when you want some.. but it wont last that way forever. I HAVE BEEN SECRETLY FALLING APART!! getting drunk makes everything easier for me.. so dont give me shit when you show up to my friends party.. why did you end up at my house.. you should of went home.. but i caved cuz you sat there cring your eyes out tellin me these nice things..it would of been easier now if that didnt happen! and i know you love me you said it your self even after this was over!! but you know what you let me down and left me like everyone else!! you call that love.. your nothing but selfish and you only miss me when i tell you that i dont wanna talk to you ever again then you start caring!! why cant we just go back to the start.. when i 1st met you .. our first time shopping .. our first kiss in album park.. the first time you said i love you... you said so your self its wat you want.. then you said you have to do wat you have to do.. make up your fucking mind!!! i deserve to be happy and im not happy!! today there was some one who made me feel like i can do so much better than you.. and he was so right! I FUCKING HATE YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN PLACE !!! YOU SAY YOU UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL BUT YOU DONT KNOW FUCKING SHIT!! 1 Disco| Show Me How You Dance!

take a look at me now! [03 Apr 2006|09:00pm] [ mood | irritated ] AND THE VENTING PROCESS BEGINS HERE.... you say im like my mom.. but you dont know me! so fuck you ! im mean to you cuz i dont know what else to do.. wat happened?? you were my king and i was your queen.. now you like the fact that im here when you want some.. but it wont last that way forever. I HAVE BEEN SECRETLY FALLING APART!! getting drunk makes everything easier for me.. so dont give me shit when you show up to my friends party.. why did you end up at my house.. you should of went home.. but i caved cuz you sat there crying your eyes out tellin me these nice things..it would of been easier now if that didnt happen! and i know you love me you said it your self even after this was over!! but you know what you let me down and left me like everyone else!! you call that love.. your nothing but selfish and you only miss me when i tell you that i dont wanna talk to you ever again then you start caring!! why cant we just go back to the start.. when i 1st met you .. our first time shopping .. our first kiss in album park.. the first time you said i love you... you said so your self its wat you want.. then you said you have to do wat you have to do.. make up your fucking mind!!! i deserve to be happy and im not happy!! today there was some one who made me feel like i can do so much better than you.. and he was so right! I FUCKING HATE YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN PLACE !!! YOU SAY YOU UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL BUT YOU DONT KNOW FUCKING SHIT!! Show Me How You Dance!

jump for joy [17 Mar 2006|03:33pm] [ mood | anxious ] I finally got my PUPPY i love him he is tiny.. i named him bear cuz he reminds me of a teddy bear.. anywho im happy.. CHELLE is in town so im excited about that.. i missed her.. it was funny cuz she went to get som stuff from myrna and shit hit the fan.. lol myrna thinks she can beat bri up lol ya right.. she is fuckin dead today... Show Me How You Dance!

JUST KEEP TRUCKIN! [09 Feb 2006|04:54am] Well looks like im moving AGAIN! but this time im happy .. im getting me a cute little appartment on the east side ! YAY! and my birthday in only 7 DAYS away and counting ! 1 Disco| Show Me How You Dance!

[05 Feb 2006|10:09am] [ mood | satisfied ] IM GOING TO MARY YOU !! YOUR MY ONE AND ONLY!! knowing you feel the same feels so great.. what you said to me last night never made me feel so good.. i love you... Show Me How You Dance!

IM BACK ONE LAST TIME... [04 Feb 2006|03:31pm] a lot of things have happened over the last couple of months.. like one of my closest friends tried to get me to dump robert .. i dont think so! we have been together for 1 yr. 3months and im not gonna let some little girl come between me and the man i love! any who.. i havent spoke to my mom since christmas and even then we didnt really talk. thats kind of upsetting but what can you do? CHELE ALMOST GOT SHOT! my poor girl !! i saw her get a GUN POINTED TO HER HEAD! i donno why things work out the way the do but i thank god for making that bullet jam in ernies gun...::sigh:: i miss her now .. she is my most understanding friend. those are hard to find being that ***** tries to ruin my life like everyday... what a friend right? i talked to nikki but things will never be the same. MY B DAY IS THE 16th im so excited.. school is almost over thankfully but its kind of sad.. i hardly see my brother andy.. robert gets to see him everyday! im jealous! i miss him .. i talked to him for like the 1st time in forever.. i made new girl friends.. they are oober kool kats .. Jena and Melissa... they got me back to my normal party mood.. "BITCHES" lol ... well bert hasnt stayed at my house for the last 2 days and im not liking this cuz i miss her !! i get so attached and then she leaves ... YOU JERK ! 2 Disco| Show Me How You Dance!

title and registration.. [25 Oct 2005|10:44pm] [ mood | jubilant ] i didnt even know live journal still exsisted.. any who .. i have court nov. 1st lucky me !!! Nerna sux at driving and is THE worst driver EVER! i guess she doesnt know how to keep her eyes on the road when sexy John is in the car... well shit happens.. im glad im living in the northeast again i feel like im at home now.. i can do what ever i want ... i can stay at Roberts house now and my dad doesnt care cuz he loves my honey .. i can hardly believe my dad offerd him a job that pays good and better hours compared to those SHITTY security jobs he had before ... back to the nerna thing.. Cyndi has a better chance ding in her car then she does cutting her self ... how fucking sad is that.. i love my girls nerna....cyndi .... mach ay le .....and andrea.. i still miss nikki more than ever .... OH OH OH and i cant wait to move to dallas next summer with robert... we might share an apartment with his buddy rawg. lol I CANT WAIT TO MOVE !!!! 5 Disco| Show Me How You Dance!

aww shit im back !!! [23 May 2005|02:28pm] [ mood | complacent ] damn i havent updated in like forever! anywho ... school if over !!!! yes ! i get to make yummy cupcakes for my friends... so if you want one you guys should look for me tomorrow ... well i got to see an old friend sat. its was nice to see him and how he knocked some sense into my brother. i think my brother might end up moving out of el paso but its ok i know ill see him a lot. and i finally got a hold of my buddy nikki last night and it was nice to her from her ... she lost her baby... but everything is going good for her so im not worried about her no more. I LOVE YOU NIKKI well i was with bobby and nerna at luch today it was a blast .. FUCKING NERNA ALMOST KILLED US she decided to not put the parking brake on while bobby was buying stoges and we almost ran into traffic. " we had a near life expierence" julia is becoming a better friend everyday .. she is just one of those ppl no one really likes cuz they dont give her a chance... everyone just goes by the rumors , but she is a really nice person... who drives like a maniac i might add... well i have places to be .. someone to do ... lol jk 3 Disco| Show Me How You Dance!

april is ex's month for everyone [20 Apr 2005|10:10pm] [ mood | blissful ] i feel good today .... i was extremely productive... i finally got to talk to jaime... that was really nice .. and i got good comments all day about the election ... i hung posters, worked on our commercial... and i get to make the senior slide show of '06 im happy ... i guess you can say i feel .. almost indefecitible! i havent felt impeccable in a long time. im moved up in the top 20% in my class .. now im in the top 15% so im happy and hopefully next year i can graduate top 10 ! i know i can .. any who i m really worried about you nikki ... i love you so so so much ! and i wish you the best and i will always be here for you ! well all i have to say is that lately ive been upset a lot and i think its all over now ... and im so glad it is ! i still love robert ... but more than ever now ... ever since our talk on friday ... this is as much love as i can give one person and thats not gonna change .. MUAH! lol   im off again ..... buh bye ! to be blissful is .....The ecstasy of salvation 5 Disco| Show Me How You Dance!

[12 Apr 2005|07:16pm] [ mood | ecstatic ] just got back from seattle the other day ... i really bonded with vanessa and claudia.... we had a blast ... what happens in seattle stays in seattle ! so yea anywho.......     8 Disco| Show Me How You Dance!

[30 Mar 2005|05:36pm] [ mood | aggravated ] im really frustrated .. i wont say why , there is no sense in telling the world but it just really pushed my button! you know the one that says "DO NOT TOUCH" and then SOMEONE TOUCHED IT ! YOU JUST HAD TO DO IT BUT I DONT THINK YOU REALIZED IT BUT YOU DID !!! ANYWHO im sitting at home waiting for 8 O'clock to roll its way right over my chest cuz only god knows what will happen tonight when i confront my moms boyfriend about what an asshole he has been to me and hopefully it goes well and he changes for good .. anywho.. im happy my uncle fixed my computer so now i have it all to my darling little self can you say .... CONTENT! well in 7 more days im off to seattle and never coming back to this shit hole of a place which is a living nightmare i must add ! well if only i wasnt coming back but unfortunately i am so oh well ... im only gonna miss one person anyway ..but i miss him now so what difference would it make well im out like a fat boy scout! JESSI<3 Show Me How You Dance!

[25 Mar 2005|01:36pm] [ mood | content ] well today is a lovely day ... im supposed to leave shorty to go with my one and only .. to get his tat. touched up. i must say i had a good day yesterday , i went with robert to ... you know ...PLACES and it was interesting .. we were kinda talking about what will happen when i graduate in december then turn 18 ... now im really looking forward to that anywho .. at 6 in the morning i woke up and my phone was flashing "new message" and it was from robert and it made me smile ... i think i probably read it a total of 12 times ... :::sigh::: i couldnt ask for anything more then what and who i have ... i love this feeling of the world loosening its grip around my neck ! slowly but surely ... 3 Disco| Show Me How You Dance!

[24 Mar 2005|10:42am] [ mood | crazy ] im fucking bad ass!!jk anywho! i finally got my new cell! my new # is 539-1615 YAY AH !!! well this week has been purdy goood if you ask me ! my puppy is on the road to recovery he seems to be in good shape but i hope it stays that way ... and i'll be on my way to seattle purdy soon ... in about a week and a half .. so that should be fun fun fun ! well im out like a fat boy scout bitches !! peace ! <3 6 Disco| Show Me How You Dance!

[22 Mar 2005|01:53pm]           have any of you seen that kool billboard of Kentucky Fried Cruelty ?   hhahaha those bastards !   7 Disco| Show Me How You Dance!

[21 Mar 2005|06:04pm] JOIN TODAY 17 Disco| Show Me How You Dance!

SOME PEOPLE !!!!!!!!! [15 Mar 2005|09:36pm] [ mood | restless ] well all is good for me but the people around me on the other hand ....   isnt it amazing how some people can  be so dramaturgic  well i guess its from sooo much practice .... there are so many people who love drama and spend their time mastering the art of it and dont do it as a hobby or a living but out of their personal arride....   it makes me very rabid when people say things that just cause people to get angry ..... especially when its my boyfriend who gets mad or hurt by it ......     anywho~~~~~~ i got to talk to nikki for a good long while and it really helped cause i needed to open up to someone ... ive been shutting people out a lot and its not good .... especially my mom .. but  since i talked to nikki i feel so much better....     "All that we see or seem, Is but a dream within a dream"   3 Disco| Show Me How You Dance!

Every Genius Has Their Hang-Ups [09 Mar 2005|08:59pm] [ mood | discontent ] this shit sucks ... same old story diffrent day and a little worse ... why cant anyone understand ... Every Geius Has Thier Hang-Ups.... i failed the easiest class in the history of education and all because i would rather sit down and read a damn book then watch a movie in fucking film class which may i remind you serves me absolutly no purpose what so ever .... anywho!! Robert hurt himslef really bad and is being sesitive at the moment but i wish there was something i could do to up-lift his spirit... but  like all things it'll pass sooner or later .... ive had so much on my mind lately but i guess that will pass to ...   well once again i ask the world to remove its beak from my chest ..... ::SIGH::     6 Disco| Show Me How You Dance!

[27 Feb 2005|06:08pm] [ mood | crazy ] friday was kool , ~i went to a party with my              Dollhouse... ~i saw Christina      she was a little upset but              i hope she feels better   ~well last night was fun ...   ~i went to the H.O.R.R. ~i saw Egon play and they were     really good so that was nice ... lol ~oh i also got an  ipod shuffle     so i was really happy about that. ~saw my cute little cousin and that was    nice also ......   well im out like a fat boy scout for now 2 Disco| Show Me How You Dance!

[25 Feb 2005|11:36am] [ mood | kick ass ] ok ok its raaaaining its poooooring the old man was snooooring! i love the rain ... im in such a kick ass mood! today hopefully will be good last week kinda like SUCKED well i really miss robert its ok though ill see him later ... i dont know what im gonna do when he goes to dallas .... or when i go to seattle!!!!! hehehe im in such a giddy mood havent been this way in a while so im feeling fantabulous! maybe cuz i over slept .... 2 Disco| Show Me How You Dance!

[22 Feb 2005|04:26pm] [ mood | chipper ] when you feel like comiting scuiced ... just kill someone else ... and everything will be aaaalll right! BANG BANG .... oops .. your dead ! 4 Disco| Show Me How You Dance!

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